Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Completely Single

Completely Single
y Kathleen Rose

It seems to happen on a daily basis; someone comes up to me and asks me if I’m finally dating. Sometimes it is said jokingly and most of the time I’m sure that it is meant with the best of intentions. But lately I’ve been thinking about it, since all I ever seem to hear from people is

“When are you going to start dating?”

“Are you finally seeing anyone?”

“Are you ever going to get married?”

It has begun to sink in and make me think that to be worth something I need to be in a relationship, that it isn’t ok for me to just be single and actually be happy being single, NO… I have to be dating or be married. Apparently I am not enough just being myself, living out my dreams whether or not I have a man in my life.

It seems to be a huge message to all young single women out there. Most of the time we aren’t told straight out, “There is no way you are ever going to be happy alone” or “You will never be enough for us unless you are dating or better yet married.” Though we aren’t told that, it is implied EVERYWHERE! You have friends and family constantly asking about your love life. You watch TV and the only time people are happy is when they meet someone and fall head over hills in love. Even those I’m-done-with-men movies end up with the girl finding some guy that sweeps her off her feet. We hear it at church, because of course, most pastors are married and though they might talk about how difficult it is to be married, some how they are always implying that being married and with someone is the only way. We have “young adult meetings” which honestly are nothing more than the church just trying to get single people to meet each other so they can get married. All because leadership doesn’t want to think about hiring someone to actually work with and care for the SINGLE people. I just don’t understand it, No wonder women have a problem with feeling worth something. We lack the confidence because we don’t have people who will actually encourage us in being who we are, to be all we can be.

For those of you, who are still single, learn to embrace it! It is ok to be single! If we look at the people who have made the biggest impacts on this world, majority of them are/were single. (Mother Theresa, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and many of the disciples to name a few) Take this season that you are single and unattached and do all that you can with it. Because one day you might be married with children and not have the time that you have today, take this period of your life and start giving all you have to others. Don’t let your life pass you by as you sit and wait for someone. Instead take advantage of the freedom you have. Start becoming the best you; don’t be afraid to take time to better yourself, whether that be in a physical sense, mentally or spiritually. You don’t need to have someone in your life to complete you; be complete in yourself. And by being who you are you’ll realize that you’ll become someone who might be able to make a difference in other people’s lives. You might do huge things for others, or it might just be in the small everyday routines. Start being you, then you can start changing and helping others to be their own person.

And for those of you who are already married or in a serious relationship, instead of being so caught up in your single friend’s and families’ love lives, try to be interested in what they are really passionate about. Be beside them cheering them on, helping them grow in who they are, and who they can be. If all of us single people had two or three other folks really pushing us to grow and to learn, standing with us and encouraging us to make the most of this season in our lives, imagine the great and awesome things we could all do.

Kathleen Rose is an unashamedly single redheaded film geek who actually watches the commentaries on movies. Being the second oldest of nine children has given her a unique perspective on life. She shares her thoughts, rants and other strange things at Ramblings of a Redhead.

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